








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4693 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5367 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2629 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3242 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,662 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trashpad_ | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Fally | 57% | 129 |
| #3 | 人 | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | iTsBoSs | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | ostrich | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trashpad_ | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Fally | 57% | 129 |
| #3 | 人 | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | iTsBoSs | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | ostrich | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTsBoSs | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Fally | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | 人 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | trashpad_ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fally | 242 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | iTsBoSs | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | 人 | 147 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | ostrich | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | trashpad_ | 32 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st☽rmyyy | +1.99 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Fally | +1.28 | 67 | 56 |
| #3 | ostrich | -0.27 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | 人 | -1.12 | 42 | 62 |
| #5 | trashpad_ | -2.06 | 79 | 60 |





