








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1170 | 32% |
| Smokes | 925 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 610 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 991 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $651,276 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valde Pudelski | 46% | 121 |
| #2 | AKUSETÄ | 44% | 198 |
| #3 | marjastaja | 43% | 210 |
| #4 | JoukoG | 36% | 22 |
| #5 | 𝓮𝓛 𝓹𝓔𝓰𝓞 | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | marjastaja | 43% | 210 |
| #4 | JoukoG | 36% | 22 |
| #5 | 𝓮𝓛 𝓹𝓔𝓰𝓞 | 34% | 44 |
| #6 | RAGETSI | 33% | 27 |
| #7 | Yamaha aerox enjoyer | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marjastaja | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Valde Pudelski | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | AKUSETÄ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | 𝓮𝓛 𝓹𝓔𝓰𝓞 | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | RAGETSI | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKUSETÄ | 653 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | marjastaja | 398 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | JoukoG | 77 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | RAGETSI | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Valde Pudelski | 32 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marjastaja | +3.28 | 59 | 60 |
| #2 | Valde Pudelski | +1.51 | 38 | 33 |
| #3 | RAGETSI | -0.28 | 46 | 53 |
| #4 | AKUSETÄ | -1.63 | 19 | 58 |
| #5 | Yamaha aerox enjoyer | -1.70 | 42 | 47 |





