








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5672 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6738 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1014 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 3602 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,828 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barrett | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | franKѠッ | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Penis Per Square Inch :D | 51% | 61 |
| #5 | SystemOfADowns | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirty Bong Water | 478 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | franKѠッ | 339 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | SystemOfADowns | 274 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dageaux | 179 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | caL | 147 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caL | +2.33 | 55 | 53 |
| #2 | SystemOfADowns | +2.31 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | barrett | +2.07 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | Twax Enjoyer | +1.58 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | Penis Per Square Inch :D | +0.13 | 56 | 32 |





