








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 709 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




248 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6084 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6347 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5660 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7883 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,630,711 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2974 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solar | 66% | 180 |
| #2 | T7 lilstewin | 62% | 151 |
| #3 | bug | 60% | 144 |
| #4 | OffDaPipe82 | 59% | 323 |
| #5 | Shanks | 58% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Shanks | 58% | 144 |
| #6 | Bloo | 58% | 117 |
| #7 | gabE | 57% | 68 |
| #8 | canela | 53% | 91 |
| #9 | Shenzie_db | 49% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OffDaPipe82 | 232 | 0.0350 |
| #2 | Shanks | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | canela | 16 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Bloo | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | solar | 12 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloo | 898 | 0.36 | 23 min |
| #2 | OffDaPipe82 | 708 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Shanks | 607 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | solar | 588 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | gabE | 411 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solar | +3.09 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | OffDaPipe82 | +2.49 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | Bloo | +1.29 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | cyu | +1.24 | 87 | 42 |
| #5 | canela | +0.87 | 81 | 56 |





