








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 801 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11627 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8244 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6374 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6622 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,177,795 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1933 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larc | 64% | 78 |
| #2 | gabE | 63% | 73 |
| #3 | milkman | 62% | 85 |
| #4 | 🅢🅜🅐🅚 | 60% | 102 |
| #5 | rEnSkie!!!=) | 60% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyu | 19 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | McCockineer | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | bobob14831 | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | peco | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | milkman | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McCockineer | 1392 | 0.29 | 35 min |
| #2 | Zohan | 1228 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #3 | Bloo | 511 | 0.41 | 13 min |
| #4 | gabE | 499 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #5 | ⭐ツYZBツ⭐ | 318 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milkman | +2.41 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Shanks | +1.74 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | McCockineer | +1.61 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | cyu | +0.95 | 85 | 42 |
| #5 | ⭐ツYZBツ⭐ | +0.88 | 66 | 67 |





