








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4318 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2876 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2990 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,204 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pensselisetä | 56% | 298 |
| #2 | Esco | 54% | 281 |
| #3 | PantsMcToot. | 53% | 261 |
| #4 | nakkilupu | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | mustasurma | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nakkilupu | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | mustasurma | 48% | 71 |
| #6 | Rotta | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | Rauta Anus | 44% | 57 |
| #8 | IDF Agent Römpsä | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pensselisetä | 28 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Esco | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | PantsMcToot. | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Rauta Anus | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | IDF Agent Römpsä | 6 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pensselisetä | 1518 | 0.25 | 40 min |
| #2 | Esco | 756 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | PantsMcToot. | 480 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Rauta Anus | 173 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | mustasurma | 147 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pensselisetä | +4.27 | 59 | 59 |
| #2 | Rauta Anus | +2.75 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | nakkilupu | +2.13 | 65 | 35 |
| #4 | Janne Naahq | +0.19 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | PantsMcToot. | -0.90 | 46 | 41 |





