








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3694 | 13% |
| Smokes | 9005 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 8068 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7648 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,166,961 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | swatcher1 | 44% | 585 |
| #8 | Colorteufel | 43% | 642 |
| #9 | Buschkanguru | 42% | 109 |
| #10 | looney1942 | 42% | 67 |
| #11 | Cookie | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colorteufel | 1362 | 0.10 | 35 min |
| #2 | head0r | 904 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #3 | Jaden- | 776 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #4 | swatcher1 | 752 | 0.06 | 23 min |
| #5 | Buschkanguru | 230 | 0.10 | 5 min |





