








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10259 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7256 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8423 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,940,624 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | onkel | 44% | 59 |
| #6 | | 43% | 642 |
| #7 | swatcher1 | 43% | 789 |
| #8 | looney1942 | 42% | 122 |
| #9 | Buschkanguru | 35% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swatcher1 | 1019 | 0.06 | 32 min |
| #2 | head0r | 951 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #3 | Jaden- | 883 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #4 | | 541 | 0.04 | 15 min |
| #5 | Buschkanguru | 232 | 0.10 | 5 min |





