








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,554 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5647 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3882 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5215 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3859 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,495,570 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIPERIANTIIKERI | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | ☂ m1ku1i ☂ | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Kullirauta | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | ma ei ola goblin | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Masa Mainio | 43% | 42 |





