








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7551 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5177 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3259 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4473 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,209 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Fallout | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | Revaaz | 57% | 118 |
| #3 | Sirr0m | 56% | 153 |
| #4 | madsam77 | 52% | 299 |
| #5 | Guido | 51% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Houwzer | 49% | 254 |
| #8 | dasdingmitsosse | 46% | 82 |
| #9 | .smirnoff | 46% | 54 |
| #10 | neugyyy | 45% | 220 |
| #11 | Oni | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neugyyy | 22 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Houwzer | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Revaaz | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Sirr0m | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | madsam77 | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neugyyy | 1259 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | Houwzer | 1129 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #3 | mattocardo | 964 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #4 | madsam77 | 901 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #5 | Sirr0m | 798 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaviD | +3.28 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | The Fallout | +2.41 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | Revaaz | +2.21 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | mattocardo | +0.59 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Oni | -0.45 | 59 | 56 |





