








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4478 | 53% |
| Smokes | 307 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 3279 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $802,949 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CIG] MSTRNBN | 38% | 140 |
| #2 | Slenderman | 37% | 424 |
| #3 | Напoлеон Бонапарт | 33% | 93 |
| #4 | 美羊羊爱吃喜羊羊 | 28% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CIG] MSTRNBN | 38% | 140 |
| #2 | Slenderman | 37% | 424 |
| #3 | Напoлеон Бонапарт | 33% | 93 |
| #4 | 美羊羊爱吃喜羊羊 | 28% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slenderman | 29 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Напoлеон Бонапарт | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | [CIG] MSTRNBN | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 美羊羊爱吃喜羊羊 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slenderman | 997 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | Напoлеон Бонапарт | 487 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | [CIG] MSTRNBN | 181 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | 美羊羊爱吃喜羊羊 | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabesz6 | +0.72 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | Напoлеон Бонапарт | -1.03 | 10 | 54 |
| #3 | [CIG] MSTRNBN | -2.28 | 18 | 46 |
| #4 | Slenderman | -2.33 | 27 | 59 |
| #5 | 美羊羊爱吃喜羊羊 | -3.62 | 6 | 23 |





