








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7068 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5285 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4625 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4458 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,126,608 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | 83% | 48 |
| #2 | @brothernaidu on ig | 78% | 85 |
| #3 | Nathan the Pastaman | 65% | 320 |
| #4 | Cats | 62% | 47 |
| #5 | techuu | 60% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oreo snorter | 77 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | just keep swimming | 25 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | urusimp | 22 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | Nathan the Pastaman | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | techuu | 8 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathan the Pastaman | 1126 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | Oreo snorter | 911 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | just keep swimming | 500 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | @brothernaidu on ig | 334 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | techuu | 255 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | +3.28 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | co | +2.55 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Nathan the Pastaman | +1.74 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | just keep swimming | +1.71 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | @brothernaidu on ig | +1.15 | 70 | 55 |





