








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3499 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2429 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2568 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,750 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Cats | 59% | 46 |
| #7 | techuu | 57% | 42 |
| #8 | >:| | 56% | 32 |
| #9 | just keep swimming | 55% | 76 |
| #10 | @brothernaidu on ig | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oreo snorter | 45 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | co | 34 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | urusimp | 16 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | just keep swimming | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | @brothernaidu on ig | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co | 1841 | 0.28 | 43 min |
| #2 | Oreo snorter | 565 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | @brothernaidu on ig | 313 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | just keep swimming | 233 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | urusimp | 176 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urusimp | +2.91 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | co | +2.81 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | just keep swimming | +2.55 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | Nathan the Pastaman | +1.88 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | @brothernaidu on ig | +1.03 | 70 | 53 |





