








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3365 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3241 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3403 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,595,199 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kirt | 50% | 58 |
| #7 | CaPPy ☾☜☯☞☽ | 48% | 122 |
| #8 | Koli^_^ | 47% | 76 |
| #9 | En3rget1c | 46% | 41 |
| #10 | Kr1ppsen | 43% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kr1ppsen | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Dont Worry ૐ | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | CaPPy ☾☜☯☞☽ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | SaltyPatty | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Koli^_^ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dont Worry ૐ | 956 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | Kr1ppsen | 519 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | SaltyPatty | 439 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | Koli^_^ | 234 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Riso | 191 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riso | +3.64 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | En3rget1c | +2.17 | 83 | 41 |
| #3 | Dont Worry ૐ | +1.60 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Kirt | +0.84 | 65 | 74 |
| #5 | Kr1ppsen | +0.81 | 77 | 76 |





