








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,474 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1848 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,082 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Axzin | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Laserturken | 61% | 54 |
| #4 | DemonF1re | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | Z3RO | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wardoq | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | SnappE | 10 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Z3RO | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Laserturken | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | DemonF1re | 6 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DemonF1re | 223 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wardoq | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Z3RO | 118 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Laserturken | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Axzin | 80 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axzin | +5.36 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | DemonF1re | +3.51 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | Wardoq | +1.51 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | SnappE | +0.64 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | Z3RO | +0.35 | 78 | 62 |





