








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Faceit | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8337 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10317 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6235 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5523 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,857,387 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 54% | 67 |
| #2 | FC FLESK | 52% | 139 |
| #3 | Chief Keef | 52% | 550 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | 48% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 54% | 67 |
| #2 | FC FLESK | 52% | 139 |
| #3 | Chief Keef | 52% | 550 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | 48% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Keef | 14 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Yarael Poof | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | FC FLESK | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Keef | 1414 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | Yarael Poof | 238 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 204 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | FC FLESK | 114 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | +1.38 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | -0.37 | 34 | 61 |
| #3 | Chief Keef | -0.87 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | -1.64 | 44 | 45 |
| #5 | FC FLESK | -2.84 | 23 | 39 |





