








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2572 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4511 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5437 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2524 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,551,203 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | 52% | 139 |
| #2 | Yarael Poof | 50% | 200 |
| #3 | Chief Keef | 49% | 512 |
| #4 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 49% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | 52% | 139 |
| #2 | Yarael Poof | 50% | 200 |
| #3 | Chief Keef | 49% | 512 |
| #4 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 49% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Keef | 51 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 17 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Mr. Bags | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Keef | 1333 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #2 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 667 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | Mr. Bags | 542 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | 191 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | +3.10 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | Chief Keef | +2.05 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | -0.23 | 29 | 60 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | -0.83 | 41 | 43 |
| #5 | FC FLESK | -2.03 | 27 | 38 |





