








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 405 matches | ||
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10286 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9340 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 14325 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 9013 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,465,528 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | 52% | 550 |
| #2 | FC FLESK | 49% | 512 |
| #3 | Yarael Poof | 48% | 386 |
| #4 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | 52% | 550 |
| #2 | FC FLESK | 49% | 512 |
| #3 | Yarael Poof | 48% | 386 |
| #4 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | 27 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | FC FLESK | 22 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | 1819 | 0.15 | 54 min |
| #2 | FC FLESK | 645 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | 400 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | 320 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Bags | +1.64 | 62 | 74 |
| #2 | Chief Keef | +0.99 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | ☯︎Global Holy♋ | -0.56 | 30 | 59 |
| #4 | Yarael Poof | -1.36 | 44 | 43 |
| #5 | FC FLESK | -2.33 | 28 | 35 |





