








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 909 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7302 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8108 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7894 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5873 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,642,950 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 756 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMT-IwnI- | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | ✯skiippy | 53% | 114 |
| #3 | Septyc | 53% | 173 |
| #4 | ANTs6 | 52% | 444 |
| #5 | M4rsh | 50% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✯skiippy | 53% | 114 |
| #3 | Septyc | 53% | 173 |
| #4 | ANTs6 | 52% | 444 |
| #5 | M4rsh | 50% | 100 |
| #6 | french14 | 49% | 596 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | french14 | 22 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ANTs6 | 21 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Septyc | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | JMT-IwnI- | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ✯skiippy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANTs6 | 1607 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | french14 | 1230 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #3 | Septyc | 365 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | M4rsh | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✯skiippy | 166 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMT-IwnI- | +5.99 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | skippy | +3.41 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | ✯skiippy | +0.38 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | Septyc | +0.05 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | ANTs6 | -0.80 | 60 | 72 |





