








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2170 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1312 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1225 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,708 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bingo | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | NotaBear | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Statecanvas2630 | 51% | 61 |
| #4 | op1´13 | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | TimelyCamera116 | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NotaBear | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Statecanvas2630 | 51% | 61 |
| #4 | op1´13 | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | TimelyCamera116 | 46% | 68 |
| #6 | Gaabe1233 | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | op1´13 | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Statecanvas2630 | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | NotaBear | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | TimelyCamera116 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Bingo | 2 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | op1´13 | 292 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Statecanvas2630 | 283 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | TimelyCamera116 | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | NotaBear | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bingo | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Railgun | +3.27 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | Bingo | +2.88 | 48 | 46 |
| #3 | NotaBear | +1.50 | 41 | 30 |
| #4 | op1´13 | -0.86 | 25 | 51 |
| #5 | TimelyCamera116 | -1.85 | 34 | 39 |





