








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1376 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 825 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,635 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brett | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | POCKET | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | JESTER | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | SerumTryNoob | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | love | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | zeep | 58% | 26 |
| #10 | CRUNK | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | carN | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | traekS | 35% | 17 |
| #13 | Ninja ♥ | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | love | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | SerumTryNoob | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Noble 6 | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brett | 104 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | POCKET | 82 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | zeep | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Freak Nasty | 77 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | SerumTryNoob | 68 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESTER | +4.51 | 78 | 78 |
| #2 | brett | +2.78 | 86 | 83 |
| #3 | Noble 6 | +2.58 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | Freak Nasty | +2.25 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | LUKE | +2.01 | 85 | 68 |





