








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 529 | 31% |
| Smokes | 629 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 47 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,748 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | can't aim | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | where u go i go | 51% | 76 |
| #3 | sili cat | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | ♿tuna | 43% | 53 |
| #5 | scoobydoo | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | where u go i go | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | scoobydoo | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | ♿tuna | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | sili cat | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | can't aim | 3 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sili cat | 201 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | ♿tuna | 146 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | where u go i go | 127 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | scoobydoo | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | can't aim | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whoopass | +3.73 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | where u go i go | +2.23 | 75 | 40 |
| #3 | can't aim | -1.33 | 47 | 50 |
| #4 | ♿tuna | -1.76 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | sili cat | -2.06 | 49 | 46 |





