








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7135 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3071 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4553 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3424 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,368,598 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAURI:-DD | 905 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #2 | HOMO:DD | 494 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | k4pteeni | 469 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | panama rayo | 441 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | cs_kimmo | 241 | 0.21 | 6 min |





