








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1931 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 506 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 433 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




152 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8715 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5877 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7077 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4748 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,542,732 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pummi | 50% | 193 |
| #8 | oni | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Anders Breivik | 49% | 92 |
| #10 | LAURI:-DD | 48% | 548 |
| #11 | LeFu | 37% | 122 |





