








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3551 | 16% |
| Smokes | 7535 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4875 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6323 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,353,726 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EyeDragon | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Bexman | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | recko | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ►Syl3X◄ | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | nCaw | Camyy | 4 | 0.0022 |





