








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 649 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2587 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3612 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2648 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2540 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,050 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorryyy | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | YordaK | 58% | 256 |
| #3 | Hélicobite de pets | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Krokonut | 54% | 104 |
| #5 | SAKA | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Noratoken | 53% | 191 |
| #7 | Sioultenn | 51% | 129 |
| #8 | Choke.Ls | 50% | 160 |
| #9 | ICREW | 41% | 29 |
| #10 | Trump's winnie | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YordaK | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Noratoken | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Krokonut | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Choke.Ls | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sioultenn | 11 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YordaK | 1448 | 0.28 | 35 min |
| #2 | Choke.Ls | 300 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sioultenn | 212 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Noratoken | 174 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Krokonut | 154 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ICREW | +5.85 | 93 | 72 |
| #2 | YordaK | +3.59 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | Zouvae | +2.97 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Sorryyy | +2.87 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Krokonut | -0.41 | 27 | 49 |





