








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4796 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3022 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2899 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,762 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorryyy | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Sioultenn | 62% | 74 |
| #3 | Krokonut | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | Hélicobite de pets | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Zouvae | 58% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zouvae | 58% | 256 |
| #6 | Noratoken | 56% | 144 |
| #7 | SAKA | 55% | 38 |
| #8 | Choke.Ls | 54% | 123 |
| #9 | Trump's winnie | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zouvae | 18 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Noratoken | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Choke.Ls | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Krokonut | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Sorryyy | 8 | 0.0219 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zouvae | 519 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Choke.Ls | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Noratoken | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Krokonut | 116 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sioultenn | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YordaK | +3.37 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | Sorryyy | +3.30 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Zouvae | +2.89 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Krokonut | -0.39 | 28 | 52 |
| #5 | SAKA | -1.57 | 33 | 40 |





