








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1000 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 711 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,579 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sioultenn | 52% | 29 |
| #7 | Choke.Ls | 52% | 64 |
| #8 | SAKA | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Trump's winnie | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | Sorryyy | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zouvae | 18 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | YordaK | 14 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Noratoken | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Sioultenn | 6 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Sorryyy | 6 | 0.0239 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YordaK | 403 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | Choke.Ls | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zouvae | 147 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Trump's winnie | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Noratoken | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |





