








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1209 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1505 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,810 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Neoshot | 42% | 76 |
| #7 | marijuana | 42% | 225 |
| #8 | Pochi | 41% | 70 |
| #9 | Cursed_Destroyer | 38% | 32 |
| #10 | Nakano Ayaki | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAGON BLOOD | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | marijuana | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Nandu Sabka Bandu | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Pochi | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | FREAKYBHAI | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAGON BLOOD | 360 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pochi | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | FREAKYBHAI | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nandu Sabka Bandu | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nakano Ayaki | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |





