








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7621 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5046 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4102 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3213 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,852 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | elmagnifico | 44% | 117 |
| #6 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 43% | 35 |
| #7 | mo33 | 41% | 39 |
| #8 | ajooly | 37% | 38 |
| #9 | FYRR37 | 37% | 30 |





