








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1008 | 26% |
| Smokes | 906 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,444 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 46% | 70 |
| #2 | ~Simbaa~ | 38% | 42 |
| #3 | Stryder | 37% | 38 |
| #4 | mo33 | 37% | 79 |
| #5 | FYRR37 | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Stryder | 37% | 38 |
| #4 | mo33 | 37% | 79 |
| #5 | FYRR37 | 36% | 53 |
| #6 | Bmw M5 Competition | 22% | 9 |
| #7 | FIRAS2K | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mo33 | 18 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ~Simbaa~ | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | FIRAS2K | 4 | 0.0221 |
| #5 | FYRR37 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stryder | 256 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #2 | mo33 | 158 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | FYRR37 | 153 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ~Simbaa~ | 111 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 92 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FYRR37 | +3.52 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | Stryder | +2.84 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | Bmw M5 Competition | +1.94 | 31 | 70 |
| #4 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | -0.15 | 19 | 61 |
| #5 | ~Simbaa~ | -1.67 | 19 | 61 |





