








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 809 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1128 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 811 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,979 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 42% | 91 |
| #2 | Stryder | 41% | 39 |
| #3 | ~Simbaa~ | 39% | 54 |
| #4 | ajooly | 37% | 79 |
| #5 | FYRR37 | 35% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Stryder | 41% | 39 |
| #3 | ~Simbaa~ | 39% | 54 |
| #4 | ajooly | 37% | 79 |
| #5 | FYRR37 | 35% | 65 |
| #6 | FIRAS2K | 0% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Simbaa~ | 12 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | ajooly | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | FYRR37 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | FIRAS2K | 4 | 0.0203 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stryder | 282 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #2 | ajooly | 202 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | FYRR37 | 175 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ~Simbaa~ | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FYRR37 | +4.06 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | Stryder | +3.14 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | 亗ᴳᵒʲᵒメsᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ | -0.59 | 24 | 59 |
| #4 | ~Simbaa~ | -1.83 | 24 | 58 |
| #5 | ajooly | -2.30 | 30 | 57 |





