








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3997 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3483 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6735 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5768 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,821,958 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guidetti | 66% | 111 |
| #2 | <[Jacob]> | 62% | 61 |
| #3 | Gamjojoq | 58% | 69 |
| #4 | EXTEND | 58% | 73 |
| #5 | Mini | 57% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | M4d5 | 53% | 88 |
| #11 | system! | 53% | 70 |
| #12 | Jones | 53% | 59 |
| #13 | Sani | 52% | 122 |
| #14 | NinjaM0nk | 51% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3cK0 | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | system! | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Dominick Deccoco | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | M4d5 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | EXTEND | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dominick Deccoco | 928 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | 3cK0 | 509 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | system! | 407 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #4 | M4d5 | 356 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mini | 326 | 0.12 | 10 min |





