








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2836 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2663 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3383 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3039 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,619 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmass1g | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | CraftyLD | 58% | 57 |
| #3 | Wylie | 57% | 141 |
| #4 | Fuse | 56% | 270 |
| #5 | You Have Small PP | 53% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fuse | 56% | 270 |
| #5 | You Have Small PP | 53% | 171 |
| #6 | Super Grover | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | Shrek | 51% | 59 |
| #8 | Fat and Furrious | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuse | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | You Have Small PP | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Wylie | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | CraftyLD | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Fat and Furrious | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuse | 1298 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | Wylie | 371 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | CraftyLD | 252 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | You Have Small PP | 223 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shrek | 200 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmass1g | +4.11 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | Fuse | +2.01 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | YogurtBoy37 | +1.49 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | Wylie | +1.11 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | You Have Small PP | +0.14 | 78 | 45 |





