








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4001 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4690 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4421 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4748 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,526,204 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samness | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | wex | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Nathe | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | gabe | 62% | 55 |
| #5 | Wh1z | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gabe | 62% | 55 |
| #5 | Wh1z | 55% | 31 |
| #6 | Flame † | 51% | 49 |
| #7 | Big.G_AU | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | N1ps | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wh1z | 6 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Nathe | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Big.G_AU | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Flame † | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | wex | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flame † | 426 | 0.37 | 14 min |
| #2 | gabe | 358 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #3 | Samness | 145 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Big.G_AU | 134 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | N1ps | 75 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big.G_AU | +3.67 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Samness | +2.51 | 54 | 68 |
| #3 | wex | +1.99 | 86 | 58 |
| #4 | Nathe | +1.79 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | N1ps | +1.65 | 74 | 67 |





