








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5200 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4346 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2699 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3653 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,930 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amadeus Travis Scott | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | ???? | 61% | 74 |
| #3 | I'm in despondency | 57% | 75 |
| #4 | Happy Birthday CS | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | tung tung tung sahur | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | I'm in despondency | 57% | 75 |
| #4 | Happy Birthday CS | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | tung tung tung sahur | 53% | 57 |
| #6 | No Hands | 51% | 109 |
| #7 | Spider-Man | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ???? | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Spider-Man | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | No Hands | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | I'm in despondency | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Happy Birthday CS | 4 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Hands | 577 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | I'm in despondency | 265 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | ???? | 208 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | tung tung tung sahur | 80 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spider-Man | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm in despondency | +2.83 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | valen | +1.75 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | Happy Birthday CS | +1.03 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | ???? | +0.59 | 87 | 68 |
| #5 | Amadeus Travis Scott | +0.43 | 83 | 64 |





