








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1713 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2144 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1150 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1936 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,205 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β’v_shiftzβ₯β’β£ | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | khai β | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | maxie. | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | fries | 60% | 113 |
| #5 | wungus | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W rizzzzz | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | γNeerγ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | σ ‘σ ‘β§β§valen | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | fries | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | wungus | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W rizzzzz | 362 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | fries | 256 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | γNeerγ | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bro #weGucci | 158 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | σ ‘σ ‘β§β§valen | 97 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | khai β | +4.09 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | P0iS0N0uS | +2.10 | 89 | 57 |
| #3 | wungus | +2.09 | 90 | 48 |
| #4 | fries | +1.55 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | maxie. | +1.22 | 57 | 71 |





