








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1830 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 928 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1310 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,292 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amadeus Travis Scott | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | ???? | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | valen | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | capt jeff | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | I'm in despondency | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ???? | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | valen | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | capt jeff | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | I'm in despondency | 50% | 66 |
| #6 | tung tung tung sahur | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valen | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | ???? | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Amadeus Travis Scott | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | I'm in despondency | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valen | 338 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | I'm in despondency | 211 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ???? | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | tung tung tung sahur | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Amadeus Travis Scott | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm in despondency | +3.36 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | valen | +1.82 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | ???? | +0.57 | 86 | 68 |
| #4 | Amadeus Travis Scott | +0.18 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | tung tung tung sahur | -0.74 | 75 | 51 |





