








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7562 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6826 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5465 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4522 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,595 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CallMeOrgazm | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Johnny the BRO | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | MEOW | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | Kidlo ✪ | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | Ladydoll | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | 198 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Messiah | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Johnny the BRO | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kidlo ✪ | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | CallMeOrgazm | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | +2.44 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Johnny the BRO | -0.17 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | CallMeOrgazm | -0.32 | 60 | 41 |
| #4 | Messiah | -0.67 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | Džoker | -0.99 | 52 | 69 |





