








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 790 | 5% |
| Smokes | 4532 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5123 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4062 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,666,768 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOMBATS | 53% | 78 |
| #2 | Havit.lsd | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | Messiah | 49% | 83 |
| #4 | Adobe Creative Cloud | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | MEOW | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Adobe Creative Cloud | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | MEOW | 43% | 81 |
| #6 | Džoker | 42% | 43 |
| #7 | Jeremiah | 40% | 55 |
| #8 | ZenGarten_20 | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adobe Creative Cloud | 43 | 0.0351 |
| #2 | MEOW | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | WOMBATS | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Jeremiah | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Messiah | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | 349 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Adobe Creative Cloud | 269 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Džoker | 171 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jeremiah | 131 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Messiah | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | +3.79 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Adobe Creative Cloud | +3.29 | 51 | 46 |
| #3 | WOMBATS | +2.00 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | Messiah | +0.02 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Džoker | -0.85 | 45 | 72 |





