








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 41% |
| Smokes | 705 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 396 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,806 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Roarry420 | 55% | 11 |
| #15 | Keck The Gamer Big Weeb UwU | 50% | 10 |
| #16 | FLIPS | 43% | 7 |
| #17 | Harmonica man | 20% | 5 |
| #18 | bb. fRaG[A] | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feynman | 118 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | AgentB | 97 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | The One | 50 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | Narky | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chad4ss | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |





