








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 18% |
| Smokes | 282 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,081 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Celtic | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Mintz | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | seemitch | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Speedyw69 | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kio | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | CHiLLY | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Mjkuck | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Boocard | 2 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | Noname | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHiLLY | 89 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Celtic | 83 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kio | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mjkuck | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Noname | 27 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seemitch | +4.55 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | celery | +4.29 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | Speedyw69 | +4.10 | 88 | 69 |
| #4 | Mjkuck | +3.70 | 86 | 41 |
| #5 | Xie | +2.56 | 69 | 23 |





