








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3104 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4662 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2993 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3810 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,172,122 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mjkuck | 25 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Detonate | 19 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | CHiLLY | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Boocard | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Sizzle | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boocard | 947 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | CHiLLY | 883 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | Celtic | 677 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #4 | Mjkuck | 325 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Catie | 236 | 0.14 | 7 min |





