










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4100 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2992 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2522 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2570 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,514 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADK | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Toilet | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | rv7 | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | gfi | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | Mjkuck | 59% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kio | 51% | 141 |
| #10 | Ralphie | 50% | 36 |
| #11 | acid-rng | 48% | 67 |
| #12 | Stoney | 46% | 56 |
| #13 | WHO? | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHO? | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Boocard | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ADK | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | CHiLLY | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Kio | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boocard | 508 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | CHiLLY | 260 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kio | 207 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | acid-rng | 150 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | gfi | 137 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mjkuck | +2.94 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | ADK | +2.36 | 82 | 54 |
| #3 | gfi | +2.24 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | Toilet | +1.82 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | Ralphie | +1.47 | 80 | 37 |





