








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3196 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2086 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1250 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,440 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpiRaL' | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | R6 | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | GotExx | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | nuGue | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | arakorBENGBENG | 3 | 0.0040 |





