








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1590 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 742 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 964 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,949 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YUqian | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | 跟着水浪 | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | ikun | 54% | 80 |
| #4 | Rc.s | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | 寻常的高手 | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 寻常的高手 | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | ikun | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 黄金茄尔西 | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | 巴巴托斯干点正事吧! | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | 跟着水浪 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikun | 268 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | 寻常的高手 | 159 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | 黄金茄尔西 | 136 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #4 | 跟着水浪 | 107 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | YUqian | 76 | 0.24 | 2 min |





