








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 2,088 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4966 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6042 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4670 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3762 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,084 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr?smileyface:-} | 67% | 46 |
| #2 | 【 ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛】 | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Trey- ⛴ | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | sVaMpeh4t | 63% | 48 |
| #5 | orga- | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | FrederikWors凸(¬‿¬)凸 | 57% | 35 |
| #10 | Lorenzo! | 52% | 27 |
| #11 | Mj '❤ | 51% | 53 |
| #12 | TIKTOK_TEIS | 50% | 34 |
| #13 | Nikwitz ツ | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naduki | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Mj '❤ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | sVaMpeh4t | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | TIKTOK_TEIS | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob K | 250 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Naduki | 246 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | dr?smileyface:-} | 209 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | sVaMpeh4t | 182 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | orga- | 168 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lorenzo! | +3.38 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | sVaMpeh4t | +2.90 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.42 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | MzWw^ | +2.31 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | Nikwitz ツ | +1.62 | 81 | 53 |





