










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 244 | 17% |
| Smokes | 292 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 364 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 548 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,990 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 48% | 63 |
| #2 | Ryder | 48% | 84 |
| #3 | LD | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | Irish Jesus | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 48% | 63 |
| #2 | Ryder | 48% | 84 |
| #3 | LD | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | Irish Jesus | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 11 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Ryder | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Irish Jesus | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | LD | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Irish Jesus | 16 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ryder | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | LD | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | +2.40 | 73 | 7 |
| #2 | Greeeeeasy | +0.56 | 59 | 42 |
| #3 | LD | -0.66 | 37 | 23 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | -1.21 | 40 | 33 |
| #5 | Irish Jesus | -3.93 | 25 | 26 |





