








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 8% |
| Smokes | 612 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,590 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | Ryder | 50% | 171 |
| #3 | Irish Jesus | 48% | 90 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | Ryder | 50% | 171 |
| #3 | Irish Jesus | 48% | 90 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Greeeeeasy | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Irish Jesus | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ryder | 69 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Irish Jesus | 41 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | +2.14 | 68 | 13 |
| #2 | Greeeeeasy | +0.55 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | LD | -0.89 | 39 | 25 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | -1.77 | 42 | 36 |
| #5 | Irish Jesus | -3.97 | 23 | 28 |





