








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 197 | 13% |
| Smokes | 401 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 423 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,887 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LD | 48% | 90 |
| #2 | Greeeeeasy | 47% | 113 |
| #3 | Ryder | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LD | 48% | 90 |
| #2 | Greeeeeasy | 47% | 113 |
| #3 | Ryder | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 18 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Ryder | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | RFK Jr. | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | LD | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greeeeeasy | 123 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | RFK Jr. | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ryder | 28 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | LD | 21 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | +1.97 | 69 | 12 |
| #2 | Greeeeeasy | +1.05 | 57 | 49 |
| #3 | LD | -0.31 | 35 | 27 |
| #4 | RFK Jr. | -1.42 | 40 | 33 |
| #5 | Irish Jesus | -4.08 | 24 | 24 |





